I Close my Eyes
by August Rose
Summary: Subaru stands alone on a high building. Who will save him from the flight he so desperately craves?


I Close my Eyes  
by Oni Hime  
  
Disclaimer: They're not mine. T_T  
  
Notes: So shoot me. -o- I happen to LIKE S+K. :P This is written from Subau's POV to Kamui. I think you can work out who 'he' and 'she' are. -_-  
  
****  
  
I close my eyes as the chilly night wind bites my face.   
Love is a thing of the past. A vicious, cruel game that children play to hurt each other. Love is pain. Love of a sister... love of a man. Love rips your heart out and leaves nothing but a gaping wound. I hate love.  
Here, up high, atop the highest building in Tokyo, i feel my power. I have power over my life and death here. I stand so close to the edge, only one step and i would fly... and fall.  
Something stops me. The thought of him, of her, of you. What right do i have to deprive the Sakurazukamori, the one I loved of a victim. I am his, marked by the signs on my hands. If I should die, it will be by his hand... or my own. And yet, she stops me as well. I think. She died for me. What right have I to die without a purpose? Her death twists in my gut like a knife wound, even after 9 years. Yet, she cannot stop me either.   
I looks down. there's only me. There's no you, no him, no her. Even in a crowd of people, i am alone. As alone as the Sakura tree that would have to world die so it could live. What right has a tree to demand the blood of others? What right has he to grant it that blood? Yet, it is as if he was standing behind me right now, moving to shelter me from the harsh wind. Holding me tight against him and kissing my cheek.  
I can even feel the hot pain as his hand plunges into me, doing for me what i haven't the courage to do for myself.  
Ending the pain with a searing touch.  
Yet there is now a presence behind me. I wonder if it is him. My destroyer. My savior.  
It's not.  
It's you, damn you. You glue my feet to their precarious perch, you deprive me of my flight, just with a look.  
You approach me, entreating. I wonder for a brief, bleakly hopeful, moment that you will push me, maybe soar with me. You continue to approach and i read your true intention in those pools of violet.  
You plan to deprive me of my flight agin. Damn you.  
You try to enclose my icy hand in your warm one. Those long fingers wrap around my hand in a satin caress as you draw me away from the edge. As if in a dream, i comply.  
Damn you. I want to end it, want to die.  
You know that, don't you, my dark savior.  
Even now, you encourage me. 'Life is beautiful' you say. Hollow words. You know the pain of love and life as well as I do. We are two of a kind. You, too, have your dark mirror, the one you want to love while he stalk you with plans of murder. Why are you telling me these things? They confuse my mind.   
Why wont you soar with me?  
I draw you towards me. Encircle you in my arms. It is strange to be the protector, yet it is not altogether unpleasant. You are encircled by my arms like a precious thing that I must treasure and keep free of harm. I sense a new purpose to my life, to save me from the pain, and yet deprive me of flight. I want to fly, but you anchor me to the earth and somehow I don't mind.  
Warmth radiates from you, warming my cold body and the torn and bleeding wreck of my heart. You draw closer to me and let out a small, contented sigh.  
I take hold of your chin and capture your eyes with mine.  
Everything has a price.  
If I must stay my flight, let me be with you. Let me hold and treasure and protect you.  
I stare once more into the well of violet. I'm drowning. Maybe this is another way to die.  
I am aware of drawing your face close to mine however I feel your hot breath on my face all too late, as yours lips meet my own for one searing moment.  
Desperate devotion. I mean nothing to Him. Yet... maye to you I am, or can be, something.  
Hope is a sweet pill laced with poison. Maybe I will fly yet.  
As you pull away and draw me yet further from my release, I close my eyes.  
  
**Owari**  
  
Well, that was my first (impressively typical) angstfic. Opinions? Please? Should I write more angst? Stick to Parodies? Throw me a freaking bone. -o-; 


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